Something to Remember when You Hate Yourself

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You aren’t good enough.

That’s what I faced on a recent jog, crying and listing the goals I had not accomplished.

You need to take some vitamin D. You need to work out more consistently. You need to eat more vegetables. You need to eat less sugar. You need to go to bed earlier. You need to join a Bible study. You need to give up Netflix for a month. You need to keep a cleaner house so you can show hospitality. You need to volunteer for a nonprofit. You are loved.

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You are loved.

This seems to be a lesson that God must teach me again and again, sort of like the lesson that He cares about the dumb details of my life. He loves me now. He loves you right now.

What You Are

God loves without qualifications. He loves you when you do not treat your husband kindly–even though your husband always treats you kindly. God loves you when you completely forget to let Him influence you and instead fill your mind with distractions. He loves you when you attempt to reject His gifts by stressing out about them.

It’s a strange exercise to stop the constant flow of what you need to do and think about what you are. You are loved. It feels counterproductive because you assume that, in order to feel better, you must fix the problem … and the problem is you. Here’s the truth: that won’t make you feel better. Instead, you can choose to briefly ignore your faults.

Who You Are

This time, the prayer about trusting God didn’t seem applicable because my identity, not my fear, lay at the root of this particular crisis. Through tears, I started to sing a song to myself. Yes, Jesus love me / Yes, Jesus loves / Yes, Jesus loves me / The Bible tells me so.

My Sophomore year of college, I understood for the first time what it meant to be accepted by God. It meant that He saw all of me, including my most staggering talents and my most despicable sins. He knew me fully and approved of me entirely.

God approves of you. He accepts you, and He’s not confused about who you are.

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Stop trying for a bit.

It will feel vulnerable because you will need to let go of your goals temporarily. The goals are not what you are. You are loved in this moment, staring at your failure. Repeating the phrase I am loved gives you a chance to glance away from the defeat and remember who you are. You are accepted. You are adopted. You are forgiven. You are redeemed.

You are loved.

I’m messing up a lot this week. I’m not going to pretend that I’m doing a good job. I am, however, contemplating the fact that God loves me in my current state, and I’m feeling a little better as a result. I would love to be able to relieve your burden the same way.

Will you sing this with me today?

Yes, Jesus loves me / Yes, Jesus loves me / Yes, Jesus loves me / The Bible tells me so.

Love,

The Reluctant Bride

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Daniel Swanson Photography

11 Replies to “Something to Remember when You Hate Yourself”

  1. I love this! To be honest, I can’t tell you how many times I hate myself in a day, whether it’s I feel like I did something wrong, I’m not who I’m supposed to be, whatever. Going forward, I will try to always remind myself that Jesus loves me EXACTLY where I am!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ugh, I’m sorry to hear that you hate yourself so often—what a horrible feeling! ❤️ Yes, His love totally defies logic because He sees our faults and still loves us in the middle of our failures. It boggles my mind sometimes. Thanks for reading and commenting! Glad it resonated. 😊

    Like

  3. I wandered over here from your other blog post about disbelieving feelings. I have struggled so much with self hatred so much recently! Thanks for putting these here.

    Liked by 1 person

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