How to Be More in Love with Your Husband

Take a day off work.

Go do something fun. Spend the whole day together. Don’t bring your phones.

Daniel Swanson Photography

Daniel Swanson Photography

Patience

I’d been wanting a day like this for a long time, and I had started to feel discouraged because I didn’t think we’d ever manage to break away for eight whole hours. My husband works in IT, often remains on-call during nights and weekends, and tries to find time for live gigs and audio recording on the side. He doesn’t leave many days empty.

So, when a friend recommended a weekend away as a boost for married life, I jumped at the concept … and tried to force my husband to get on board. My stubborn insistence probably ruined the plan for him from the beginning, and then–of course–something came up. Our weekend away wouldn’t work after all. I felt rejected as well as disappointed, and our supposedly romantic weekend turned into a fight. Not my best wifely moment.

I finally gave up on the idea. I needed to accept this phase of life rather than wishing for an imaginary future. My husband always finds space for quality time, even if that means a long lunch in the middle of a workday rather than an entire weekend together. I can choose to support his career and trust him to prioritize our relationship. Forcing the issue tends to backfire, anyway. Eventually, I forgot all about my weekend.

I need to accept this phase of life rather than wishing for an imaginary future.

Priorities

You can tell when you need a day off. Not when you want one because that sounds fun, but when you start to get grumpy around the office, and your work performance suffers, and you can’t apply enough foundation to cover the bags under your eyes. A wise blogger alerted me to the importance of taking breaks, so I mustered up the courage to request an extra holiday. (P.S. I highly recommend Darius Foroux.)

It feels uncomfortable to ask for favors, especially from your boss. Do it anyway.

Daniel Swanson Photography

Daniel Swanson Photography

Since my husband had also requested the day off, we somewhat-spontaneously purchased tickets to Elitch Gardens. We slept late, sweated in long lines, stuffed our faces with churros, won cheap stuffed animals at the arcade, played in the wave pool with dozens of screaming children, and left our phones in the locker. We had a blast, our-style.

The next day, we couldn’t stop cuddling. We acted like obnoxious teenagers in the thralls of puppy love. As a bonus, I also experienced fresh enthusiasm at work. At first, I didn’t understand why we suddenly felt so connected. Then I remembered my wish for an uninterrupted weekend. Turns out we only needed a day.

You can’t always plan those days.

Sometimes you need to appreciate the small moments in the middle of hectic, exhausting reality. When the opportunity does arrive, though, seize it! You’ll be glad you did.

Love,

The Reluctant Bride